By: West

I'm a tomboy femme cis bi woman in a relationship with a cishet feminine man who is not assumed to be cis and/or a man about half+ of the time in his life, with or without me by his side. I stay "connected" to queerness (why is it assumed there is a disconnect?) by the homophobia we get in public as a ""lesbian"" couple, or the dismissal we receive as "gal pals". My gnc male partner is not safe out in the world even as a cishet guy, often targeted for his feminine demeanor which translates to be targeted as a trans person, or as a cis woman, or as a femme gay man. I am an aggressively out bi woman who even when I haven't come out in a space I'm assumed to not be straight. My family is not comforted by the longterm relationship I have to man that fits no rigid mold of toxic masculinity, just as they are not pleased by my role as keeper of masculine energy in the relationship. All of our friends are LGBTQ+. I will never suggest that partner actually is queer because of these experiences or that he in anyway knows what it's like to *be* queer, but he lives in the world of queerness with me. There is not disconnect.